The Gender Gap, Gender Equity & the Chasm Between the Two

By Dan Singer, former City Manager for the cities of Ojai, Goleta & Poway, CA

I recently had the opportunity to attend the Women in Government Symposium in Kansas City; a half-day workshop on the topic of woman’s equality in the workplace and how we move toward achieving greater equality. Being a decision-maker in organizations I’m always striving to enhance my level of awareness and my sense of fairness and equity as it relates to running organizations.  In that regard the Symposium was worthwhile, engaging and thought-provoking.  Yet as one of only a handful of men in the audience, I was struck by the frustration expressed by many attendees at the gender gap and how slowly we seem to be moving toward a more balanced workplace, at least at the executive level and compensation level.

As someone born into the very last year of the Baby Boomer generation I was raised in a traditional household. My father was a successful CPA and worked a lot, especially during tax season.  My mother went to college, but having become pregnant a bit earlier than planned (thank you mom, or I wouldn’t be here!), she ended up staying at home to raise me and my two younger sisters.  She worked incredibly hard and always came from a place of love and fairness.  My wife, coming from a Latino family, was raised in the same environment: Stay at home mom, working father.  In her culture, the roles were very clearly defined as were the tasks and the responsibilities of the family.

When we got married, we were determined to have a more “equal” relationship. That became tricky when I wanted a lot of input into the planning of our wedding – which didn’t enamor me to my mother-in-law!  But it was important to my wife and me that there be greater equity in our relationship, especially within the household.  Our two boys are now growing up with a broader appreciation for their responsibility to be independent and take care of themselves and have the skills to navigate life not just “bring home the bacon” and depend on a spouse to do the rest.

In the past 30 years we’ve all seen some remarkable social shifts in society. Whether it’s dramatic, like the fall of Apartheid or the Berlin Wall or gradual, like the acceptance of gay marriage, these social movements not only take time but more significantly stem from a future generation challenging previous or old thinking.

What I came to realize as I absorbed the great lessons and thought provoking ideas from the Symposium is that we are smack in the middle of a generation gap. A chasm between the traditional “nuclear” family and the new modern one whereby there are no traditional rules that apply.  Today I can look back and see just how far we’ve come; yet I can also see how far we still need to go.  And while we can’t and shouldn’t make excuses for the slow pace of equal pay for women – and we must keep the conversation going until we reach that equality – we also need to recognize that dramatic change may not occur until the next generation (one that has been raised in a more equal and accepting environment) is put in charge.  We shouldn’t stop fighting, pushing for legislation, raising awareness, teaching equality, pulling from other countries that have much more progressive policies, etc.  But it may well be the Millennials, not the Baby Boomers or the Gen-X’ers that are going to make the true difference.  To them it will be “the norm.” They will catapult our society in a way that we cannot because we are still fighting old habits and beliefs.  So the takeaway is to keep chipping away at the imbalance, accept that change often occurs slowly and over time and help our children to realize there will be better ways ahead because they will be the ones to realize true, meaningful, quantum shifts in the gender equity movement.

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Dan Singer is a local government manager with over 25 years of experience in municipal management and has a Master of Public Administration degree from Syracuse University. He lives in the San Diego area with his wife Olga. Dan can be reached via email at dansinger101@gmail.com or via website: www.dansinger.net.