By Lisa K. Goldman, City Manager – Burlingame, CA
A few weeks ago, a colleague and I were just back from Thanksgiving break and chatting about how we’d spent our day. Much to my horror, my colleague mentioned that she had purchased all the food and cooked Thanksgiving dinner for her boyfriend’s entire family of 20 or so people. Not a single one of them lifted a finger to help or offered to help pay for the meal. They assumed (incorrectly) that she liked cooking large meals for people unrelated to her and picking up the tab, and she never stood up for herself. Luckily, she went home before it was time to do the dishes, but the whole experience left her exhausted, annoyed, and making plans to go out of town next year. I can’t say I blame her.
As I thought about my coworker’s experience, I realized it’s similar to the situation faced by many professional women in the workplace, myself included—we fail to be our own best advocate for promotions, salary increases, and plum assignments. Instead, we hope that if we just work hard enough, keep our heads down, and don’t make waves, our bosses will notice us and reward us. I operated under this assumption for years. How well does that ever work? Not very well, it turns out.
In late 2010, I was working in another jurisdiction as the Deputy City Manager (the underpaid number two position in that organization at the time). My boss was unexpectedly placed on administrative leave for the remainder of her contract, and I was elevated to Acting City Manager. It was a tough six months, but I survived, and even thrived, in the position. When the City Council hired a new City Manager I knew from a neighboring community, I told him before he started that he was promoting me to Assistant City Manager and giving me a big raise. I didn’t ask. I told. Then I told him again a few more times before his first day of work, and he agreed. The “old me” would have waited for him to notice what a great job I was doing. But after working so hard under very difficult circumstances, I decided that I was going to tell him exactly what I needed, rather than wait patiently and hope that he figured it out.
Now that I’m a City Manager, I do some speed coaching now and again. Whenever I’m coaching young up and comers, especially women, I tell them the same thing. Be your own best advocate. Communicate your goals to your boss. Find someone else to help you reach your goals if your boss won’t do it. And keep your head up. No one will do it for you.
